Character.

Leafing through my tableside notebook this afternoon I came across the following quote: “Character is only developed during the difficult times.” How true. These past couple of weeks has been difficult times for our families. I have found myself questioning God more and more often, praying more often, and, ironically, I have felt an increased strengthening in my faith that God will provide for our families.

Driving home from New Hampshire the other week, after facing death once again, I could not help but keep reflecting on those qualities I want to pass onto my children. For some reason, maybe out of habit, I kept thinking about those qualities I do not want them to have like being lazy, liars, or cheats. After some time, however, my thoughts turned to examples of positive influences I have experienced that I can pass onto my kids– those experiences, actually, one recent experience handed down from my father, is the focus of this essay.

For Christmas 2008, my father bought me a pencil. Well … not just any kind of pencil. He bought me an artists sketching pencil kit from Woodcraft, a woodworking supply company. The pencil’s innards, consisting of brass tubing and a set of springs, however, were only a portion of the gift. The other parts, a rectangle block of burl wood and some lathe tools, made his gift one of my most memorable and cherished. But the present was more than just a run of the mill Christmas gift: His thoughtfulness exemplifies everything I want to pass onto my kids. Let me explain.

Initially, he purchased the pencil kit weeks before the holiday because I had mentioned that I was interested in turning it (wood turning on a lathe), but I did not want to spend the money on a “luxury” gift for myself. Even after a year-and-a-half I still feel guilty about spending money I do not physically earn. Anyways, during our conversation I must have mentioned that if I were to buy the pencil kit that I would also purchase the five color pencil leads for the extra few dollars. At Christmas, I opened his gift to find that not only had he purchased the pencil kit, the burl wood I wanted and the extra colored lead, he had taken the trouble to drill out the burl and glue in the brass fittings. In other words, he had completed one of the most technically difficult and important steps in the woodturning process and provided me with all the “tools” needed to complete the job. It was now up to me whether or not or when I was going to finish making the pencil.

This is the kind of father I want to be: providing my kids with a hand-up when they need it, going the extra distance to provide for them, and truly listening to their needs, wants, and desires. I cannot wait for the day that my kids “know” their grandparents. I think that will be one of the best gifts I could ever give to both of them– my parents and my kids, that is.