A Day In The Life.

Quite often, I am asked how I am handling the additional workload with the kids. Adrianne’s new schedule has extended her workday by several hours into brutal twelve-hour shifts. When preparation and commuting time is figured in, she is away from home nearly fourteen hours on her workdays. Twelve hours is a long time for one to be on his or her feet; and fourteen hours is a long time for one to be alone with two young children. I’ve said this before in an earlier blog, but I still cannot imagine what life must be like for a single parent. I know how tattered I feel at the end of my day. I can’t imagine what life would be like without Adrianne putting one of the kids to bed and dealing with one of them when they wake up during the night. Sure, I could handle the kids for 24 hours without help. But as any parent knows, it’s not an event that wears one down it’s the constant repetition and constant demands without reprieve that wears one down to the bones.

On a lark, I decided to write down what I do with the kids throughout one randomly chosen day. The day I recorded was an average day spent with the kids. I’ll refrain from calling the day typical, since there is rarely a normal day in our household. I’m opportunistic. For example, if the weather is nice, like it was on the day I chronicled, I spend more time outdoors with the kids taking them to the park, playing on the swing set, or putting around the yard with them in our radio flyer wagon or plastic push cars. Or, if the weather is not cooperating and house is a mess I’ll spend more time with Taylor playing “clean the house” and doing my best to keep Simon from climbing all over his sister and eating Pledge. On this particular day we spent a great deal of time outdoors, skipped most of the daily chores, and ate left-overs for lunch and dinner. Typical? No. Not in the least. But it was an average day.

7:45 AM
Rest is a beautiful thing. For the first time since … a long time, I feel legitimately rested this morning. Although Simon did wake up once during the night at 3am for about 45 minutes, he slept through the night and well into the morning. Today, both kids woke up at the same time. Both kids patiently waited for the other to be picked up, changed, and dressed without complaint. Today has started out as a good day.

8:26 AM
Both kids have been changed, dressed, and brought downstairs. Taylor picked out her clothes– a purple shirt with a pink squirrel and hearts and flower power pants – for the day. I unsuccessfully tried to get her to wear a nice new blue pair of pants Adrianne picked up for her last week but received a quick, “Sipa’s pants!” rebuttal. It seems that anything with blue in it must belong to Simon and Taylor cannot bring herself to wear boys’ clothing.

8:27 AM
While dressing Simon, Taylor found her Feathers For Lunch book by Lois Ehlert and shortly began requesting, “read, read.” A quick diversion of Hello Kitty Band-Aids quelled her requests but also sparked her need to remind me that three days ago she fell down “outside” and received a “boo boo” on her “knee.”

Downstairs, Simon immediately began playing with one of his Thomas trains. The train set, a Christmas gift from grandpa, is quickly becoming one of his favorite toys to play with and throw at the cat. Although he lacks the fine motor skills needed to play with such a small toy on the wooden train tracks, he likes to push the cars around on the kitchen floor and over furniture.

8:30 AM
Ah, the brewing of Green Mountain Roasters coffee brings back fond memories of Vermont. It’s fitting, then, that I’ll have to drink the coffee cold as I scramble to read my mornings emails and, between chasing Taylor out of her poop corner and onto her Dora the Explorer potty seat and keeping Simon out of the cat litter box, enjoy the jolt.

8:42 AM
After a quick reheat, the first cup of coffee is finished.

8:46 AM
Taylor’s singing of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star using the rhythm associated with Ba Ba Black Sheep signals the start of nursery rhyme time.

9:02 AM
It’s time for the second cup of coffee this morning.

9:08 AM
Two very hungry kids quickly put the kibosh on any plans of enjoying the second cup.

9:26 AM
With the kids fed and my coffee in the microwave, I am able to grab some peanut butter toast, OJ, and vitamins. Oh, yea. I can’t forget mentioning finishing washing the dishes and putting out the trash.

9:46 AM
Start time for getting the kids ready for the park. The temperature outside is reading 41 degrees with a forecast of 50 degrees before noon.

10:14 AM
The park is virtually empty, except for a small contingent of mothers waiting anxiously in their SUVs for the remaining members of their gossip group to arrive. Virtually every morning this group of women and their kids swarm the park for about an hour as the mothers cram the crisp airwaves with the most mundane details of the last 24 hours of their lives. A small part of me wants to be part of the group– for the socialization of my kids, but I know I could not stomach nor participate in the daily banal morning gossip. Yet, the decision of joining a playgroup for the kids beckons me every time I enter the park. Right now, Taylor is two years old. All of the playgroups advertised at the park are for kids over three years old. I guess I have a little bit more time before having to make this decision.

11:50 AM
With two tired kids belted into the Radio Flyer wagon, we make our way out of the park for home.

12:25 PM
Simon’s lunch: Vanilla yogurt and several ounces of Similac formula.

12:42 PM
Simon is put to bed.

12:44 PM
Taylor’s first lunch: green olives eaten with a fork and water with ice in it. A couple of days ago she made the connections between ice and water. Since then I haven’t been able to keep a tray of ice in the refrigerator for more than one day without having to refill it.

1:16 PM
Taylor’s second lunch: French fries without the ketchup.

1:24 PM
Taylor and her multitude of baby dolls are put to bed with her for her afternoon nap. I am able to work for a little bit on this piece of writing and begin turning a European roller ball pen for my brother-in-law. The pen is a complicated piece of work. This is the second pen I am attempting to turn from the Berea Company. I am not impressed with the written directions, but the pen’s components are top-shelf for a close-out price.

3:00 PM
For the second time today, both kids wake at the same time. An anomaly.

3:10 PM
The weather is absolutely beautiful outside! A quick look at the Weather Channel shows that tomorrow’s forecast calls for rain, wind, and dramatically cooler temperatures. Getting the kids ready for anything after a nap can be difficult. Sometimes the kids wake a few minutes too early minutes they should and take out their frustrations in the form of restlessness, crying, or wiggling around like a fish out of water. This afternoon is no exception.

What should I do first: change them or feed them? Whom should I feed first? Taylor, one would think, should be able to feed herself. Simon, on the other hand, needs a little more help, one would think. But since Simon had more sleep than Taylor, Simon is more than willing to hang out in his high chair eating crackers until I can get to him. While Taylor, Ms. Fussy pants, needs some immediate attention.

4:09 PM
An hour later, we finally make it outside!

5:43 PM
One can always tell if an adventure was fun for the kids by the amount of time it takes them to fall down on the living room carpet floor and start to fall asleep before begging for food. As for this afternoon, before Simon was even in the house, Taylor dropped to her knees and, in a fleet voice, said, “nap” and “P” (her name for PediaSure). It has been a heck of an afternoon!

6:25 PM
With the kids’ hunger satisfied and their energy sapped, it’s time to begin the bedtime routine. After food, bath is first on our to-do list.

7:02 PM
I love bath time, but I love the hour after bath time even more. Hot, sweet smelling bubbly water has a nice calming affect on the psyche for even the smallest child.

7:10 PM
Now I can eat in peace without one of the two kids pulling at my ankles demanding water or ice or wanting to climb up and sit on Daddy’s lap. Ah, peace.

7:43 PM
Did I say I’d have an hour’s worth of peace? What I meant to say is it feels like I have an hour’s worth of peace.

7:52 PM
Thank God Adrianne is home early. The kids are in a tired frenzy. This is the new hell hour. The time of night that the kids’ emotions completely short circuit any and all reasoning they may have acquired over their short life span.

8:44 PM
Taylor’s asleep.

8:45 PM
Mommy’s asleep

8:46 PM
Simon’s asleep.

9:00 PM
Daddy finally gets a shower.

5:59 AM
Simon’s awake for the day. Here we go again….

Videos

I am slowly wading into uncharted waters with Taylor. Well … uncharted for me, that is. For the first time in two years she is paying attention to the TV. Recently, her favorite movies are “Fish,” Finding Nemo, and “Bunny,” Watership Down. Luckily, these are the only two movies or TV shows she has paid attention to. But how much TV should she watch? How many times should she watch her movies in one day? Is having the TV on during the day, whether she is watching it or not, negatively affecting her cognitive development?

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, the answer is yes to all of my questions. On one of the websites I browsed this morning I found a startling statistic: For every hour of TV a toddler watches, the child has almost a ten percent higher chance of developing attention problems that could be diagnosed as ADHD by age seven. In other words, a toddler watching three hours of TV daily has a 30 percent higher chance of having attention problems in school. In addition, at least one expert believes that the insistent noise of television in the home may interfere with the development of ‘inner speech’ by which a child learns to think through problems and plans and restrain impulsive responding to external stimuli (www.whitedot.org).

As a teacher, I know from first-hand experience that ADD and ADHD diagnoses are real, albeit, in my non-medical opinion, over diagnosed. However, those kids truly afflicted with ADD or ADHD struggle with nearly everything and anything that demands concentrated attention. The kids I am thinking of struggle to do the simplest takes such as sitting still, taking notes, or waiting their turn before blurting out an answer in class.

The article further explains a child’s brain is rapidly developing, but certainly not as fast as we think. For example, when a baby first discovers his or her fingers there is a period of neutral pattering that occurs as the brain literally maps the connections between “I have fingers” and “this is how they work.” As one would expect, sitting in front of a mesmerizing TV show does not allow enough time for those connections to be made. In my own experience, this explains why Taylor spends minutes saying “turtle” over and over again¬ when watching Finding Nemo– even though the turtle scenes have passed by, instead of calling out all of the animals in rapid succession as they appear on the screen; her brain is too busy processing what she saw.

Am I unwittingly putting my children at risk because Taylor likes to watch Finding Nemo or I like to watch the Military Channel or the DIY (Do It Yourself) home improvement channel during the day? I guess so. I would like to think that I am counteracting the effects of the TV by playing with the kids throughout the day, taking them outside for walks or allowing them to discover the outdoors, or taking them to the park. But am I doing enough? Does the TV cause that much irreparable damage so quickly? How much television should I let my kids watch or listen to? Can I go without the TV? The experts say that no child under the age of two should watch television. And children over the age of two that watch television have an increased risk of developing ADD, ADHD, aggressive behaviors, and obesity. One would think that the answer to my questions is simple: turn off the television. But then again, how many of those experts are stay-at-home mothers or fathers? Would they be willing or able to keep the TV silent throughout the day, everyday?

While I am not addicted to watching the television– I haven’t had a favorite TV show since the introduction of Friends in 1994– I do like watching some shows and I like the occasional classic movie. And at the same time, I certainly do not like the idea of inundating my children with systematic and overwhelming squawking from any source. Maybe moderation is the answer? Besides watching the morning and evening news, there are no shows or mini series I watch throughout the day. Possibly, the mere act or striving towards less television watching will produce the same results as purposeful deprivation? Possibly.

104.3

Our recent move has been taxing in so many ways. First, the expense of moving is astronomical! Figure, after the moving company charges their $800.00 worth of driver surcharges and gas taxes to drive a measly 300 miles, the actual cost of moving is based either on the gross tonnage or square feet used in packing the moving truck. When we moved, we decided to go with a carrier that charged us by weight– about 68 cents per pound– because I could not comprehend how a kitchen chair could cost more to ship than all the weights from my Universal weight lifting set simply because our ten-pound, bamboo chair has more surface area. Neither could I stomach the thought of some inept truck driver using our own furniture to rip us off because he or she never learned how to pack a 55 foot trailer. Second, searching for a place and the sorting, packing, loading, unloading, and re-sorting our property is a little less than fun. Third, getting settled and getting back into our normal routines just takes time. Not only does one need to find those type of stores they routinely visit, like the grocery store, one needs to discriminate between the quality of those store’s products and the cost of that product or service. For example, unlike the grocery stores we are accustomed to, the stores in this area have fewer selections, poor quality control over their fruits and vegetables, and the produce is exorbitantly overpriced. Sixth, for the life of me I cannot and will not acculturate to the idea that road sign advertisement is a worthy investment. Seventh, I can’t seem to overlook employees and/or owners smoking inside their businesses. And eighth, our move has been exceedingly taxing because acclimating to the area’s germs, bacteria, and virus strains has been slow and painful.

The last hurdle, naturalizing our family to unfamiliar germs, has been the most difficult for our family. All of us, save Simon, have been terribly sick at least once– for several days at a time– these last two months; and Taylor seems to be the worst hit and having the hardest time recovering from those illnesses. Two days ago, her temperature, reaching a high of 104.3 around 4:30 pm, broke after a screaming luke-warm bath. Three grueling days later, Simon’s fever spiked at 102.1. It certainly was not as scary– Taylor’s head, arms, and legs felt like they were literally on fire–, but his temperature was troubling just the same. Between the two of us, Adrianne and I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in well over two weeks.

As I am typing this, everyone is taking an afternoon nap suffering with a fever. I should be sleeping too, but someone has to keep the housing running. Maybe next week will be a little better for everyone.

Bird Feeders.

Two-weeks ago, our backyard became the new food shelf for a variety of local birds. The first week, the majority of the birds eating out of our feeders were Pine Siskins: smaller, slimmer birds with dark brown streaks washed in golden highlights on their wings, rump, and tail. A member of the finch family, Pine Siskins are uncommonly trusting of humans and have no reservation about perching on our clear plastic window feeder as they feast on the high-energy sunflower seeds Adrianne purchased along with three additional hanging feeders– two seed hangers and one suet feeder– throughout the day. While neat to watch, Pine Siskins fly in tight, compact formations with no obvious leader showing the flock which way to go, the birdfeeders have quickly attracted more colorful birds from neighboring birdfeeders and the woods behind our home. One of my favorites, a newcomer, is the Downey Woodpecker. A tiny bird when compared to its cousin the Pileated Woodpecker, which sports what looks like fiery red, spiked hair as they incessantly “drum” their beaks on hollow trees to claim their territory and search for food, the male Downey Woodpecker has a single splash of red on the back of his head. And our newest newcomers, arriving yesterday afternoon just before a threatening nor’easter, the Purple Finch, which looks red and not purple, showed up in masses to our ogling delight. Regardless of which birds visit or claim our feeders as their own: the Pine Siskins, Downey Woodpeckers, Nuthatches, Tufted Titmouses, Red Cardinals, Song Sparrows, American Goldfinches, or Mourning Doves, the joy of watching the birds eat and interact with one another is dwarfed by the unfettered excitement Taylor and Simon display watching them.

Our love for bird feeding and, oddly enough, squirrel feeding began several years ago. At a prior apartment in Vermont we were blessed with a large backyard, plenty of trees, and a healthy animal population. One might say that we were a little bird and squirrel crazy– buying a ceramic birdbath, running 65 feet of electrical cord from the garage to the backyard supplying electricity for the optional electric ice defroster, purchasing copious amounts of quality birdseed and suet from Agway at an exorbitant price, and spending a whopping amount of money trying out a variety of “squirrel proof” birdfeeders before yielding to the hordes of squirrels which mobbed our feeders every morning. Unfortunately, a move to southern Vermont thwarted our fondness for bird watching– the neighborhood in which our new apartment was located was infested with domestic and feral cats. During our first summer we were forced to take trips into the woods just to hear the sounds of nature we’d grown accustomed to. (To our pleasant surprise, a harsh winter, hungry bobcat, or a zealous animal control officer depleted the gaggle of felines and a few birds returned to the towering pine and lotus trees behind our apartment the following spring). But thankfully, our latest move has allowed us, once again, to return to nature by simply looking out our kitchen window.

Enjoying nature and the experiencing God’s outdoors is a significant part of our daily routine. Whether watching the birds feed, walking in the woods, or simply drinking in the fresh air on a walk around the block, I make it a point for the kids to be exposed to the outdoors. This is important. How else are the kids going to appreciate the environment unless they are exposed to how nature ought to be?