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Having more than one toddler playing in a small area takes a little planning, a little creativity, and sometimes a lot of hands-on refereeing. Ideally, kids should be able to play by themselves with minimal support from an adult. Ideally. Toddlers, however, still requires one to give a bit more guidance and have a bit more patience and flexibility before letting them off on their own.
Over the last two years I’ve watched Taylor progress from complete dependence during her playtimes to a much celebrated virtual independence from me. There are times, although still too often to take for granted, that she’ll play by herself for such a long period of time that I feel obligated to stop what I’m doing and silently peek around the corner to check on her. Simon, on the other hand, is still very much dependent on direct adult interaction, regardless of how much his sister strives to have a twenty-five pound playmate; he needs to be watched. Too many times have I caught him standing on one of his play chairs, gnawing on a choking hazard, or poking around and into things where his chub fingers don’t belong. Simon is, however, more independent, if memory serves me correctly, at thirteen months than Taylor ever was at his age. I guess that is the difference between a girl and a boy and the difference between one’s first and one’s second child. Simon, by default, has learned to wait for attention while Mom or Dad takes care of his sister’s needs, complete house chores, cook, etc., whereas Taylor rarely encountered such delays at an early age and has only recently, with the birth of her brother, had to master the art of self-restraint. Thank God!
Through trial and error I’ve learned that if the kids are safe and are playing without assistance, guidance, or direct supervision that one should leave them alone. Little distracts the creativity of a toddler more than some big person sticking their nose or “helping” where it doesn’t belong or is not needed. At the same token, absolute freedom can quickly morph into absolute disaster if one is not careful. For example, the other night, about an hour before bedtime, the kids were running from room to room squealing with joy as one played the mouse and the other the cat. It’s a new game they have begun playing, fraught with anxiety¬– on my part– as they dash and stumble under and around toys, furniture, daddy and the cat, alike. On this particular night the chasing game last nearly as long as Jeopardy!– the only TV show I force the kids to tolerate Dad’s partial attention whether they want to or not. Moments before Final Jeopardy! the pitter-patter of Simon’s size 5s and Taylor’s size 6s abruptly halted in the far corner of the office, about the furthest away from my chair as they could get, and I heard Taylor’s emphatic three word command, “Simon no bite!,” followed by a piercing scream and the ear-piecing bawl of two crying tykes. Payback is a you-no-what!
Over the winter and spring, I’ve come up with a quick list of “must do’s” to keep my kids for bludgeoning one another with naked baby dolls and Lego’s during those long rainy days when we are stuck inside. While this list is far from extensive, thus far, it has worked for me.
1. If they are playing safely, leave them alone.
2. Don’t expect them to share. Have two toys ready before handing the first one out.
3. Play positioning is important. I’ve found that sitting them back-to-back instead of side-by-side or front-to-front helps limit toy jealousy, wandering hands, and flailing feet.
4. Offer limited choices. Filling a room full of toys causes more headaches than one can imagine. Besides tripping over them, having too many toys out confuses and frustrates the kids.
5. Along with number four, limit the number of parts of various toys helps to focus play. Does a toddler really need 235 Lego’s or 22 plastic animals out at one time?
6. Watch for signs of boredom or frustration and be prepared to step in and make the toy fun again or switch it out.
7. Along with number seven, before switching out a toy I find asking if they are done with the toy helps them transition to a new toy, especially if their sibling takes an interest in the old toy before it’s out of sight.
8. Switching or remove toys from the play area quickly. Do it fast and don’t hesitate! Renewed interest in an old toy rarely lasts but a few seconds before the being kicked to the side or hurled into the opposing corner of the room.
9. Sometimes putting toys away loudly or, say, driving the Tonka dump truck to its bin will illicit interest or curiosity. (I like to use this little trick just before taking down a new toy for the kids to play with. It allows me a few seconds to leave the room and introduce the new toy without a lull in the action.)
10. And finally, when the kids have had enough playing, stop. There does come a time when playtime is over. I suggest having a light snack or meal ready to cushion the space of time between toy playtime and another activity.
Good luck.
Over the last two years I’ve watched Taylor progress from complete dependence during her playtimes to a much celebrated virtual independence from me. There are times, although still too often to take for granted, that she’ll play by herself for such a long period of time that I feel obligated to stop what I’m doing and silently peek around the corner to check on her. Simon, on the other hand, is still very much dependent on direct adult interaction, regardless of how much his sister strives to have a twenty-five pound playmate; he needs to be watched. Too many times have I caught him standing on one of his play chairs, gnawing on a choking hazard, or poking around and into things where his chub fingers don’t belong. Simon is, however, more independent, if memory serves me correctly, at thirteen months than Taylor ever was at his age. I guess that is the difference between a girl and a boy and the difference between one’s first and one’s second child. Simon, by default, has learned to wait for attention while Mom or Dad takes care of his sister’s needs, complete house chores, cook, etc., whereas Taylor rarely encountered such delays at an early age and has only recently, with the birth of her brother, had to master the art of self-restraint. Thank God!
Through trial and error I’ve learned that if the kids are safe and are playing without assistance, guidance, or direct supervision that one should leave them alone. Little distracts the creativity of a toddler more than some big person sticking their nose or “helping” where it doesn’t belong or is not needed. At the same token, absolute freedom can quickly morph into absolute disaster if one is not careful. For example, the other night, about an hour before bedtime, the kids were running from room to room squealing with joy as one played the mouse and the other the cat. It’s a new game they have begun playing, fraught with anxiety¬– on my part– as they dash and stumble under and around toys, furniture, daddy and the cat, alike. On this particular night the chasing game last nearly as long as Jeopardy!– the only TV show I force the kids to tolerate Dad’s partial attention whether they want to or not. Moments before Final Jeopardy! the pitter-patter of Simon’s size 5s and Taylor’s size 6s abruptly halted in the far corner of the office, about the furthest away from my chair as they could get, and I heard Taylor’s emphatic three word command, “Simon no bite!,” followed by a piercing scream and the ear-piecing bawl of two crying tykes. Payback is a you-no-what!
Over the winter and spring, I’ve come up with a quick list of “must do’s” to keep my kids for bludgeoning one another with naked baby dolls and Lego’s during those long rainy days when we are stuck inside. While this list is far from extensive, thus far, it has worked for me.
1. If they are playing safely, leave them alone.
2. Don’t expect them to share. Have two toys ready before handing the first one out.
3. Play positioning is important. I’ve found that sitting them back-to-back instead of side-by-side or front-to-front helps limit toy jealousy, wandering hands, and flailing feet.
4. Offer limited choices. Filling a room full of toys causes more headaches than one can imagine. Besides tripping over them, having too many toys out confuses and frustrates the kids.
5. Along with number four, limit the number of parts of various toys helps to focus play. Does a toddler really need 235 Lego’s or 22 plastic animals out at one time?
6. Watch for signs of boredom or frustration and be prepared to step in and make the toy fun again or switch it out.
7. Along with number seven, before switching out a toy I find asking if they are done with the toy helps them transition to a new toy, especially if their sibling takes an interest in the old toy before it’s out of sight.
8. Switching or remove toys from the play area quickly. Do it fast and don’t hesitate! Renewed interest in an old toy rarely lasts but a few seconds before the being kicked to the side or hurled into the opposing corner of the room.
9. Sometimes putting toys away loudly or, say, driving the Tonka dump truck to its bin will illicit interest or curiosity. (I like to use this little trick just before taking down a new toy for the kids to play with. It allows me a few seconds to leave the room and introduce the new toy without a lull in the action.)
10. And finally, when the kids have had enough playing, stop. There does come a time when playtime is over. I suggest having a light snack or meal ready to cushion the space of time between toy playtime and another activity.
Good luck.
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